The Pregnant Man

My wife once told me she read of a news article in a prominent Malayalam newspaper about a pregnant man. I told her she must be confused with the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie Junior, where he becomes pregnant. She told me this was a real man and his photo had appeared in the daily (and yes, it was not an April fool's joke).

So I decided to do a little bit of sleuthing, which is not that hardest thing in the world of Google. First I did a Google search for "pregnant man" and I was taken to the website http://www.malepregnancy.com/. I checked the website and golly! There is a pregnant man! This was a website of RYT Hospital - Dwayne Medical Center which has carried out a medical miracle. The pregnant man was Mr. Lee Mingwei. His photo had apparently appeared even on the cover of Time magazine (This website has a photo of the Time magazine cover). There was also a live ultrasound image of this man. There was an extensive medical report on how this was achieved. I had heard of practically every news of biological breakthroughs, from the cloning of sheep to the sequencing of the DNA. But I had totally missed out on the news of the Pregnant Man.

Since his article had appeared on the cover of Time magazine, I decided to plow through the archives of Time magazine. Since my wife had read the article in 2003, I decided to go through the archives from 2002 to 2003. Time magazine is a weekly so I had only about 104 images of the Times cover to go through. I did not find the Time cover of Mr. Mingwei that RYT Hospital had so proudly posted on their website.

Then I did a search on Google for "hoax pregnant man". And then I was led to the website http://urbanlegends.about.com/library/weekly/aa100400a.htm. This site of course tells the truth about Mr. Lee Mengwei. If you check the site out male pregnancy website, you will find that Mr. Mengwei is still pregnant (even after 3 years).

One question. Is there any moral?

That Old Shelf

In Mumbai, I lived in an old apartment in Bhavani Nagar. I stayed there for mainly 2 reasons - one was the proximity to my workplace; two was the excellent food made by our maid servant. The center piece in the main room of the apartment was a big old shelf. It was a metallic shelf with 6 shelf levels and stood about 7 feet in height. It had been in the room for a long time. The shelf was brown in color because that is the color of rust.

One fine Saturday morning, few years ago, we (meaning my roommates at the time) decided to do something about this shelf. Our room was (almost) clean but looked (very) lived in. We thought it could do with some brightening up. We had previously thought of getting rid of the shelf but were too lazy to do so. So we did the next best thing. We decided to give it a paint job.

After our breakfast, which consisted of tea, samosas and dhokla from a nearby bakery, we headed to a paint shop within Bhavani Nagar. We first bought sandpaper and a bottle of thinner. Then we looked at the choices for paint. We were not satisfied with the colors this store had. So we headed towards a bigger shop in Marol, where there was wider choice of paint. We looked at many colors but finally decided on 2 - Pista Green and Lilac.

We headed back to our rooms with the 2 paint cans, a bottle of thinner and 3 sandpapers. After lunch, we started to clean our room. We had to dust, clean and throw practically everything. If we had tried, we could have found artifacts from another civilization.

Then we started to clean the surface and the edges of the shelf. We had 6 shelf levels and 4 vertical beams of the shelf to smoothen. We used the sandpaper to make the the surface smooth but it took longer than we expected. Finally, 3 hours and 6 sandpapers (we bought some extra sandpaper in between) later we were done. Then we had to clean up the brown metallic dust that came as a result of the rigorous smoothening. We took some rest and had tea.

For the painting, we decided that the 4 beams of the shelf were to be Lilac and Pista green alternately. The 6 shelf levels would also be alternately Lilac and Pista Green. We started painting from the top. This was so that if any paint dripped down, it would fall on the unpainted surface. We covered the ground with old newspaper all around so that the floor would not become dirty (old newspaper was never in shortage in our apartment). It was around 6 in the evening when we started the first coat of painting . We took turns in doing this.

After we were done with that, we started work on the second coat of paint. This was done for 2 reasons. One was that we noticed that the the ugly surface below the paint was faintly visible. The other reason was that we still had plenty of paint. This was easier than the first coat and we could give it the finishing we intended. We even fine painted the corners with these 2 colors alternatively just to get perfection we needed. And so after nearly 10 hours of work, we were done. A shining bright shelf that became an object of envy to anyone who ever saw it.

As a final touch, we even decided to name the shelf. Since it was very bright and colorful, we decided to name it after the Bollywood director whose movies are bright and colorful.
The shelf was named - Karan Johar.

Conmercials

Have you observed the latest infomercials/tele-shopping ads doing the rounds?
The latest one - The height increasing products. There are 2 that I have seen - HiGrow Height Increaser and Yoko Height Increaser.

What they promise - They will increase your height by up to 4 inches in a matter of 3 months.
How they do it - All you have to do is wear an insole (and walk around for 15 minutes) and you will increase your height. How is it done? This is the part that's the most amusing. The explanation given is that the leg has a lot of nerve endings. By applying pressure at the correct points, the pituitary glands in the brain activate the growth hormones. So you become taller. (I just love it when they used medical terms like "pituitary glands" and "growth hormones").

Yoko Height Increaser is developed using the latest Japanese technology. Origins of HiGrow is apparently unknown (probably made in Ulhas Nagar).

But I think the developers of these growth products that activate the pituitary glands could work on similar products, since they seem to be popular.

One that grows nostril hair faster -
"Are you worried about not having nostril hair which is not long enough? Does it affect your confidence? Are you worried that you don't have nastral hair to pull? Worry not! The Yoko Nostril Hair Increaser will solve all your Nostril hair needs. Plus if you order now, we will put in a Nostril Hair Comb in, Free!!"

How about ear increaser?
"Are you feeling disappointed that people do not pay attention because your ears don't make your head look like a trophy? HiGrow Ear Increaser will give you the confidence to walk around looking like a trophy. As a bonus you can use the HiGrow Head Increaser to shape your head like a cone so that you can completely look like the trophy you always wanted to look like. "

Here is a prediction of future products that could be coming to a tele-shop near you.
"NoScratch - Are you worried that you scratch yourself often? Does it let you down during that corporate meeting during presentation. The NoScratch is a slightly large electromagnetic device that you put in your nostril. The NoScratch will send electric pulses to the neuromatrix located at the forebrain. This will remove any sense of itch. To double the effect, stuff both your nostrils with this NoScratch and you can walk around with confidence and with no sense whatsover. "

"FingerExtra - Are you anxious that you don't have enough finger in your hand? Do you wish you had an extra finger so that you have more nails to bite? Do you feel you need that extra finger to type faster? Worry not. FingerExtra can help you grow an extra finger. All you need to do is take our special pills which induce the Founder Effect which can stimulate the growth of extra fingers."

The only side effect of using these products would be that your level of intelligence would come down. But then you could always use Hi-Intelligence which stimulates your cerebral cortex to boost your intelligence...

A New Day Has Begun

We had camped over at the Green House lodge at Nasu and had slept after the zero hour. It was around 7 in the morning when a cold draft and some commotion woke me up from my sleep. The new year for us started when the water supply in our lodge stopped. Everybody was talking about this. Overnight, the water in the pipes froze. Well this being Japan, things got fixed very quickly.


We all started the day discussing everything under the sun, including technology and politics. Then we made our next trek. The trek to the living room in the cottage which was in arctic condition. It was one of those kerosene heaters. We kept it on all night and the kerosene ran out. So we had to pump some kerosene in. Quite a messy affair but worth the effort. Warm air in a cold room. Now we had all brushed our teeth and were ready to have our breakfast. Rather, we had to make breakfast. We had some bagels and some of us had eggs. The living room was in quite a mess and we had to clean up. Adding confusion to chaos were kids playing and crying, the power going off because of too much power usage. But we managed to finish our morning chores and clean up the place. A step outside our cottage and we saw winter wonderland. Deep woods covered in snow as far as the eye could see. We loaded our luggage into the bus and left the cottage. The beer case was still missing and still a topic of (heated) discussion.


Our next stop was a Swiss Farmhouse. Of course, it was not Swiss and it was definitely not a farmhouse. It was one of those (unnecessary) parks made in Japan when their economy was doing well. The kids of course took to it immediately and were taking a ride on big mechanical dog. I must mention that this "ride" on the dog cost Yen 200 which consisted of the dog walking and turning for about 10 steps.

The next was a bumper car track which was a big hit among all of us. Many of us took multiple rounds in it. My niece, Aadya, was crying and screaming when my brother tried to take her in these cars. 3 rounds later she was screaming for more. Reminded me of that famous line from Top Gun - "..What we really need is the need for speed".

After that the group split into 3 groups. One group - bachelors who I assume split to compensate for the beer fiasco. Another group - families with children who took a ride on a toy train and were never to be seen again (till we returned to the bus). The remaining 5 of us - Karthik, Ramesh, Savitha, Lekshmi and me went to a playground nearby and had some fun going across a "rope way" (see pic). After that we headed to a stable where we saw some real fine horses, dogs, cattle and rabbits. I suppose they included these animals to qualify as a farmhouse. Then after some shopping, we were herded back into the bus. I guess being "herded back" was appropriate since we were in a "Farmhouse".

Next stop - Momijidani Suspended Bridge. It was a foot over bridge that leads to only a small park on the other end of what looked like a lake. This park could very well been reached by taking a road across the lake and takes only a little more time. And yes. They actually charged money to cross the bridge. Yen 400 I think. Sigh! But we did take some photos and have some snow fights. This was because we had nothing else to do in this place. Some of us made little wood carvings as memorobilia. Yes. The place was "truly" memorable.

Our next destination - Home. It was a 3 hour journey back home and we had a late lunch (or early dinner) while we headed home. Girish, Shridhar and myself volunteered to serve the food. That is when I realized that juggling with 1 hand is easier than serving food in a moving bus. But the food was really good (even if it was cold) thanks to the effort of all people in preparing the food. Many of them had not even slept all night because they were busy cooking all night. Now that food was served and eaten, the bus fell into silence. Most of us fell into a nice slumber. And as our destination reached - we all said good bye and wished each other well.

A day and a trip was over. And a new year had begun.
As for the missing beer case - it was found lying peacefully in Sridhar's apartment.

Thank Goodness It's Year End!

So it was the last day of the year and we (meaning a lot of people) decide to send of 2005 by going to Nasu Shiobara which is in Tochigi-ken in Japan. We called ourselves "TGIYE" (Thank Goodness It's Year End), since the Japanese bus companies requires groups to have some name.

The bus was to leave Myorenji (with Shyam, Lalima, Aadya, Shailesh(i.e. me), Lekshmi, Girish, Venkat, Karthik (Sr.), Ramesh(Jr.), Savita and Namdev) at 6:00 but we Indians being Indians managed to leave at 6:40.

So here we were in the bus heading to Kojiya to pick up some more people. The bus was loaded with a lot of goodies (or should I say "eaties"). It was early in the morning and thankfully we are handed some nice food which just about stops the complaints of hunger (for the time being).

We reached Kojiya at 0720 and some more guys joined in (Tirupati Reddy, Jyothi, Karthik (Jr.), Sridhar, Ramesh(Sr.), Veena, Sunny, Deb, Sukumar, Pravin, Pradeep). We then proceeded Komatsugawa where Siva and his family (Lakshmi, Rishi, Vishnu) joined us. As Rishi entered the bus we wished him on his Birthday and he cut a cake we had got for him. Since there was no knife, the cake was cut (or should I say mutilated) by a spoon and distributed to all of us.

So here we were all set to go to Nasu. The bus started its journey to Nasu at 09:00. We were already late by about 2 hours. Poor jokes, loud songs and good food filled the journey to our first stop. As we proceeded to Nasu, the land gradually turned to white as the mercury dropped.


So we reached our first stop - Nasu Safari Park. We got into a special bus which is supposed to look like a lion. The kids were really excited seeing the bus. I guess at that impressionable age, all this must be really exciting to them. So off we are into the Safari and we are welcomed by the White Lion. This is the first time I see this creature and realize that this is probably the King of Lions. Then we see the "Regular Joe" Lions. They were behind a cage but they seemed to be sniffing the air as our bus passes by. Food was probably on their mind.

After that we saw animals who could be seen with the windows of the bus opened. Deers, cattle, donkeys, elephants, etc. were there along the way. Even a girraffe had a peek at as we were in the bus. Everybody really enjoyed feeding the animals, especially the white deer since legend has it that it brings good luck. It was certainly good luck for the safari tour operator as he sold animal feed worth 3000 yen from our trip for food that looked a lot like corks on a wine bottle.


After that we boarded the bus and filled our stomachs. No talks, just food (does that sound like what Nike's tag line would be if they had been selling food?).
So after the food, we headed towards the "Otome no Taki" - Otome Waterfall (or at least that's what the itinerary said). On the parking lot near the place, the snow was knee deep over a large area. And after a few minutes Venkat was lying deep in the knee deep snow after being ambushed by Girish, Shyam and Sridhar (although there might have been more perpetrators). Snow fights followed and even the kids joined in. But it did not last long as we had to head towards the waterfall. The trek to the waterfall was made quite difficult because of the snow. But at the end, the journey to the waterfall was worth it. A lot of wonderful sights of snow, streams of water and wildlife. And by the time we returned to the bus, we were a satisfied lot with injured backs, twisted ankles, inflammations, wet shoes and a lot of photos.

At last we head to the cabin lodge, which in dark looked like a forest, around 6 in the evening. We unload the luggage only to see a section of the group mourning. A case of beer had been either lost, misplaced or forgotten depending on which story you heard. So alcohol was greatly limited a bottle of vodka and 2 bottles of wine. The great depression followed. Thankfully food was in abundant supply so the barbecue started after painfully cleaning the barbecue pit and the grill. The vegetables were barbecued followed by chicken and fish. The fish unfortunately went uneaten (too salty). After that we started dancing and breaking (our back) for about an hour till 11. After that age took over and we all desperately needed to catch our breath (at least I did).

Now what? We had 1 hour to the New Year but nothing to do. We tried some games about creating stories with each person adding to the narrative. I know. Sounds boring. But we actually did have some fun. But even that was limited and we started a new thing. Watching the clock and talking trash. And then the clock struck the zero hour. We wished each other and headed to sack almost immediately.

Thanks Goodness It's Year End!